Is Divorce And Remarriage Biblical?
Divorce And Remarriage:
What Does the Bible Teach about Who May Divorce and Remarry?
Divorce and remarriage have become common as civil law allows no-fault divorce. A husband or wife may dissolve a marriage for almost any grounds and remarry, regardless of the will of their spouse. The result is that many people marry without considering the teaching of the Bible. Is fornication (or adultery) the only Scriptural grounds for divorce, or does the gospel allow marriage to be dissolved for other grounds? Please consider this careful study of the Biblical teaching.
This paper pertains to the Biblical view of divorce and remarriage. All scriptures that I will list refute remarriage and are emphatic concerning this, not allowing any basis for remarriage. All the scriptures should be read together in context. Read the gospel scriptures together to see their consistency and harmony. The following are New Testament verses and are very clear concerning these matters. The only passage that is repeatedly misinterpreted and some use to find loopholes is Mt 19:9. These individuals discount the other texts by misrepresenting Jesus’ meaning in Mt 19. I will explain this passage contextually, but first here is a list of the other verses that should be studied: (Lu 16:18; Ro 7:2-3; 1Co 7:10-11, 16, 39; Mr 10:2-12; Mt 5:32; Eph 5:31-32).
A contextual look at Mt 19:3-9:
(Verse 3) – Pharisees tempting Jesus by questioning God’s eternal divine order – “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” (verse 4) He answered, “Have ye not read that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female” (verse 5) “for this cause shall a man cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be ONE FLESH?” (verse 6) “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh, what therefore God hath joined together let not man put asunder.” (verse 7) “They say unto Him, Why did Moses then command (UNWARRANTEDLY asserted by Pharisees) to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away?” NOTE: This directly refers back to De 24:1-4 which is a product of man. It was a penal permission and was not originally part of God’s eternal law of marriage as stated in Ge 2:24 nor was this ever given as a blessing from God. Verse 8 covers – For the cause of fornication: “He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” Note: God’s will in the beginning before the Law of Moses – two become ONE FLESH. Also Jer 3:1, “They say…” – again it was not God, but was for the hardness of their hearts and was a temporary concession suffered for a limited time only! This passage is referring back to De 24:1-4. Some laws were punitive and were “not good” (Eze 20 especially verses 18-25). God never said not to take those wives back again; ‘they’ said it. Conclusion: Can I divorce for fornication? Answer: No!
Verse 9 covers – Every other cause except fornication: “And I say unto you, whosoever (every married person) shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and marry another, commits adultery and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” This passage is dealing with all other causes that one could think of to divorce. The reason for the clause except it be for fornication in (verse 9) is because Jesus is excluding it here because He covered fornication in (verse 8). This is often misinterpreted by liberals as an allowance. We can conclude that in both (verse 8) and (verse 9) Jesus has given no endorsement for divorce for any cause. The second part of (verse 9) gives no concession for remarriage and this passage thus harmonizes with all other New Testament passages covering this subject. Jesus covered the total divorce and remarriage question here in Mt 19:8-9. He covered all situations, all causes. The answer to the question, “Can I divorce for any cause?” The conclusion Jesus gives is No! Can I remarry? The answer is No! Exception being only upon the death of spouse (Ro 7:2-3 and 1Co 7:39).
Let me expand a bit more on Mt 19:3-9. Please notice in (verse 3) the Pharisees are only addressing the question of divorce to Jesus. They say nothing about remarriage, so to stay in proper context the subject of remarriage is not addressed. Also notice in (verse 3), the Pharisees ask Jesus “is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” The question is not only for fornication, but the many other reasons that many use to “put away” a spouse. Ultimately Jesus will answer the total question of “every cause.” Jesus’ answer in (verses 4-6) is all the answer that should have been required. (Verse 6) is pretty emphatic, “what therefore God has joined together let no man put asunder.” However, the Pharisees were not content with that all encompassing answer, just like many today are not content with that all encompassing answer, so they proceed to (verse 7). When they ask Jesus this question concerning Moses and the commandment of divorcement, this immediately refers back to De 24:1-4 which deals with uncleanness as the reason for divorce. The Hebrew word “uncleanness” used in De 24:1 is the same word used in Le 20:11, “uncovered father’s nakedness” also in Le 18:8, “nakedness of father’s wife.” Therefore the reason for divorcement in De 24:1 is what the New Testament calls “fornication”. Jesus comes back with His answer in (verse 8), which deals with the question of divorce for fornication. Again His answer is very emphatic, “from the beginning it was not so.” There is no loophole here, no wiggle room whatsoever.
Jesus completes the answer in (verse 9) to cover everything else when He says, “except it be for fornication,” the actual Greek text reads “if it be not for fornication.” Jesus in (verse 8) is addressing the direct question of fornication that the Pharisees posed to Him in (verse 7). In (verse 9) Jesus addresses all the other reasons some would use for divorce not counting fornication or except it be for fornication, or the literal Greek if it be not for fornication. Jesus’ answer is still an emphatic No!! Bottom line is that putting away a spouse with the intent to remarry using Mt 19:9, Jesus gives an emphatic no!! Those who try to use this passage for remarriage are unbiblical, as the passage doesn’t speak to remarriage, only divorcement, and, of course, Jesus says No to divorce.
A final note to think about concerning (verse 9). Why would Jesus say, “from the beginning it was not so” and then turn around in (verse 9) and say I forgot to tell you, I have an exception. Jesus doesn’t double talk. He hates divorce and He always will, there are no exceptions.
Passages that will further clarify the Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage question and Mt 19:8-9 are: (Jer 3:1, 14, 22; Hos 2:7, 3:1; Mal 2:14-16; Isa 54:5-8).
These scriptures basically teach Reconciliation of the sinning spouse. In God’s way of thinking divorce does not dissolve or sever a lawful marriage. In Hosea, for example, God told Hosea to take back the defiled Gomer. The difference in response with Hosea was that he did not have a hard heart and did not look to De 24:1-4 as an escape.
Penal Permission: They were told in Eze 20:18 not to follow the statutes of their fathers, but because of rebellion God gave them some statutes originating with their fathers which directly conflicted with the law of God. These statutes were “not good” and gave them what they wanted. This is an example of God’s righteous retribution and punitive judgment for rebellion (verses 18-25) and those involved would suffer the consequence of their sin of unforgiveness and hard-heartedness. This is similar to God giving the Israelites quail in place of manna Nu 11 because of their lust which was accompanied by a plague (verse 34).
Christian Faith Assembly
PO Box 275
Williston, VT 05495
Hi. I’m asking about what do you do about people that want to come to church as a remarried couple
I would be very pleased if you could let me know
I am not a pastor, I see this a lot should I stay at this church
thank you
God Bless
Well, you let them come. No one but Jesus paid the price for the church so in my opinion NO MAN has the right to tell anyone they cannot come to the house of the Lord.
GOD BLESS YOU!
Why I Repented of A Marriage God Called Adulterous! Study Page
http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html
I agree with much of Crismier’s conclusions on marriage divorce and remarriage. More of his broadcasts are at the link above.
cadz thanks so much for the link I was looking for it is very inpiring. God bless you!
Leslie McFall has an interesting way to deal with the so-called exception clause in Matthew 19:9 that some hold allows for divorce and remarriage in the case of marriage unfaithfulness.
He has written a 43 page paper that reviews the changes in the Greek made by Erasmus that effect the way Matthew 19:9 has been translated. I reviewed McFall’s paper at Except For Fornication Clause of Matthew 19:9. I would love to hear some feedback on this position.
I also have list of good conservative articles on the subject of Divorce and Remarriage.
While agree with some broad strokes of this paper I think this is over stepping what the Bible says about this and comes off being more so fundamentalistic rather than expository, elevating secondary issues to the level of essentials it seems, reading into the text or adding to the text what is not there. For example one thing one can note immediately is why is it this person is not taking into account the Pauline epistles which expounds on it as well?
While the Bible forbids and says God even hates divorce, the concession given as to a justifiable reason for divorce is adultery OR abandonment, which if you read all the passages in the Bible on this topic basically turn out to being the same thing. The bottom line I think though is that just like a true believe would not live their lives in constant willful rebellion towards God, since abandonment of a spouse is not really one act but more so a fruition of ones expression of disdain for Gods principles and ways, I think the Bible gives grounds for divorce but doesn’t really direct those at Christians, but more so non Christians or those with a said faith rather than a real faith..ie those who merely CLAIM to be Christians rather than ACTUALLY being Christians.
People should be educated on what marriage is BEFORE they take such a serious LIFE LONG commitment. Most or at least half of those in the US don’t unfortunately, or others have issues from the past that end up sabotaging the relationship, and yet others marry for the wrong reasons.
Marriage as far as how God designed it from the beginning IS to be a lifelong love committment to each other, to be there for each other no matter what. This reflects Christs love to the church where He was willing to die for her, where sinners are to be willing to do so even every day to their own selfish desires, seeking their partners good over their own.
I agree divorce occurs from the hardness of men’s hearts, which is sin. When you look at all the passages though as far as what a Biblical basis is to divorce it is more so not just one act of adultery, but a lifestyle of adultery, because were called to forgive 70×7 times…but with a lifestyle of adultery this is identical to where one demonstrates they really do not wish to be with the other person which leads Paul to say that if the UNBELIEVING spouse wishes to leave let him/her do so, the other party is not bound. So from what I have been able to gather from Scripture is that while grounds for divorce are given, the one question I have is WHY does it NOT say if a BELIEVING spouse wishes to leave let them do so? Why does it cover every possible aspect of how a person can deal with the opposite sex BUT it EXCLUDES directions of how a BELIEVING SPOUSE can abandon their spouse? I think this is because a true Christian wouldn’t likely sin in such a way, because they have truly repented, and by definition no longer sin in a manner commensurate with conscious willful rebellion like a non believer would. So I think while the REAL justification for a spouse abandoning their mate is LEGITIMATELY PERMITTED (though not approved of or celebrated) having a hard heart is not something a Christian can do in a manner of it being a conscious ongoing premeditated willful way, therefore the permission is not really something a geniune Christian would do if they are in their right mind. This could be a scenario where a believer was immature and got married before they could discern their fiancee was not genuine, or if a person was good at masquerading as a Christian when they truly were not, or perhaps they made a stupid decision in trying to see how missionary dating and engagement would work out. Either way though I think a real believer will want to seek reconcilliation whenever it is possible, and should SEEK OUT a divorce, but if the other party divorces them or refuses to stay, the Bible says the other party is not bound. So while the highest good is for reconcilliation what God acknowledges is the potential hardness of mans heart that makes reconciliation impossible.
What this does is sets apart marriage as holy, says believers are genuinely different because their whole lives are changed forever, allows forgiveness to be broad and stretching of a person in regards to gaining character, and allows God to be merciful and rational because He realizes many times because people are complicated and leave messes, where He leaves the highest good as reconciliation and abandonment/continuous adultery as the grounds for divorce after all other means are exhausted. We should also keep in mind that people including pastors or counselors can be erred in their judgment or are not gifted or skilled enough to counsel thus end up hurting couples seeking their help, and I think God looks at that as well.
With that in mind remarriage becomes possible and legitimate if the believing spouse has done everything they could to reconcile but found the doors closed on that because the other party left them and explicitly would not come back. On the other hand if even a non believing spouse wishes to stay the other party must not throw them away.
I’ll leave it at that.
.
Before i gave my life to christ i met and married a man that i dont love in any way,i did it just to get my stay permits in germany,now i have given my heart and life to my Lord Jesus christ but i still dont feel love for my husband and right now that i have been made to understand that God hates divorce i know i will be disobeying my Father by divorcing him,i feel so bad right now please is there anyway out for me?
my advise = faith =
cast your cares on him ,, him who was totally unrecognizable from the slashing & strilppimg of his flesh from all over his body,cast your cares in HIM who loves you so special that he died for you= for he cares for you and sees your issue,
GIVE YOUR Husband to GOD offer him up and offer up your Marriage, casting the bread on the waters so to speak..
then pray night and day never stop praying while you wait for God to move
do not instruct god like demand and that , just trust God in a trust that HE loves you and his will is so BEST FOR YOU ask his will be done , and get out of his way by praying , if you cannot pray praise , sing , give thanks, worship , pray , pray ,pray , trust HIM that ALL things ALL ALL things work out for Good for those that LOVE the LORD .. LOVE the Lord and be a good wife while you wait for HIM to MOOOOVE for you and I guarantee our LOVING GOD Jesus WILL settle this for you in a way that you will eternally praise HIM for his GREAT LOVE TOWARD YOU ,,
bless you precious precious person , do not look back at your mistake LOOK UP claim the cross , do not let the cross be of no affect in your case as JESUS LOVES YOU and I LOVE YOU
To: aghogho
I believe you know the answer already to this. Yes agreed you married him before you became a Christian but Im sure you know what the Holy scriptures say:
1Co 7:12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord: If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she is willing to live with him, let him not send her away.
You cannot then now leave your husband. You made a covenant before GOD Almighty. You choose whom you will obey
To please your feelings or to please GOD by Obeying His commandments.
Please, Please choose to abory GOD. You might think you dont love your husband but Jesus Christ can bring that love about. Concentrate on Loving GOD our Lord Jesus Christ your Saviour instead of trying to look for a way out in your current marriage. There is nothing to hard for Christ. That love you think you dont have Christ can bring it about.
Do not divore your husband but please obey GOD instead. this life is short compared to eternity.
Please go to the link below that shows Q/A of people who ask similar questions
http://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/answersTopicD.htm#Divorce
http://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/LVanswers/2009/05-02.html
GOD Bless
i dont care about excused people to make to not accept what the bible says and to say it doesnt mean what it says
um yeah it does
god is very clear
he hates divorce!!!! and in scripture he didnt say i hate in in this circumstance!!! he hates it period!!!
the bible is also very clear
if you diovorce for any reason but adultery
in gods eyes you may divorce under mans laws
but no so fast
i dont care if you want to feel better
the bible is clear
if you decide to remarry
and that marriage ended not for adultery
you will be committing adultery
and not only that
the bible addresses the other person in that marriage as well
they too will be commiting adultery
and poeple
get over it if you think this is metaphor and god wasnt being literal
or this was an analogy
this is very clear!!!
i agree with god
and also
interesting that 75% of those who remarry
divorce a 2nd time
so its not as if the 2nd marriage is going to be successful anyways
again
god never intended divorce
what god has brought together let no man put asunder
marriages dont work out
hello
becuase the poeple in them dont work it out
also i am not dumb
just becuase a couple marries
doesnt mean god brought them together
even christians
so bottom line
if you dont divroce becuase of adultery
and you remarry
you will be comitting adultery
attack me all you want
but you will have to attack gods word first
becuase thats my source!!!!
i myself wouldnt have such a big deal or any at all
if the bible didnt say any of this
i myself will never marry a divorce man
for theses reasons
i do care
i do care about what god thinks on the matter
Hi Lumel (Angel?)
I was just given a link to your website, praise God it is a fantastic site, you obviously have put a lot of time and effort into it. It is obviously a great resource. It is great to see another site discussing promoting the issue of permanent Creational Covenant Marriage.
Blessings
Michael Whennen
http://www.WiseReaction.org
Hi Michael happy to find other brother’s who defend the sanctity of marriage I visit your site and it is great thanks for the link and may the Lord continue to bless you my brother.
por favor gostaria de saber!!!! se vc ja tentou tudo para salvar seu casamento e nao deu certo!!! se a pesssoa olha pra voce e diz: nao lhe amo mas!!! como viver com alguem assim? estamos correndo grande risco de viver adulterando!!! pois ela ou eu vamos acabar sendo infieis ao senhor jesus!!! se nao posso divorciar e casar novamente, vou viver pecando??? meu casamento nao deu certo!!! nao poderei ser feliz nessa terra??? estou condenado a viver sozinho??? ela nao me quer?? o que vou fazer?? me ajude!!! nao averia uma outra oportunidade??? o nosso Deus nao me daria outra oportunidade de ser feliz???
Sorry I don’t understand you/Perdon no le entiendo.
I have been a christian for twenty years and last year a man came to the Church where I belong . He was saved by the Lord and loves Him. Gradually we got to know each other and we fill that God leads us to marriage. However there is one thing which still bothers me : before coming to Christ , he was married and divorce on unbiblical ground , than He met a s0-called Christian lady and lived with her in fornication ; when He got saved and realised what he did he tried to reconciled to his ex-wife ( who is not a believer) but she refused and insisted to go on with the divorce. She is now re-married.
Do you think we are committing adultery if we marry now that he has realized his sins and repented ?
I would not like to commit a sin before God .
Yes Christin I believe you are and the fact that it bothers you should say something about it. Here’s an article which I think will be of much blessing: http://www.lumelonline.net/divorce_remarriage/do_you_have_any_doubts_about_remarriage.html and the title: “Do You Have Any Doubts About Remarriage?” I really believe it will be a blessing for you. God bless you.
Lumel,
I thank God for your sharing of that article about having doubts.it did help me a lot. I have been struggling with this remarriage thing for months now.i wana move on.im tired feeling this way.i was engaged a couple of months ago.i broke off the engagment because of this doubt. i didnt wana jump into marriage not being certain of God’s approval. it does hurt but im coping, thank God.
Hi Christine,
If the reasons of the marriage failure for this man youre with was down to his own doing then he has no right of re-marriage. Its like saying if I stole a $1mil from the bank when not a christian and I then become a christian you are automatically forgiven. I still have to pay that money back or serve jail time.God has forgiven this man but not exempted him from the consequences of damining his marriage. It seems to me that if your conscience troubles you with this man then “he aint the man for you” trust me. He probably left his wife while an unbeliever and he’ll probably do it again with you. Look for a man with a clean slate I know it’ll take longer but it be less hassle in the forseeable future.
If his ex-wife was the cause of the divore then yes he has the right to re-marry. But if the reasons for his ex-wife re-marrying was due to him departing from her then she has a right to re-marry and not him and neither should you marry a divorsed man who divorced on unbiblical grounds. This as nothing to do wether youre christian then or not buat a lot to do with a persons MORALITY AND CHARACTER.
The bible tells us husbands do not depart from youre wives as you would cause her to commit adultery. This does not only apply when youre a christian but to all men in general.
Please go to the link below that shows Q/A of people who ask similar questions
http://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/answersTopicD.htm#Divorce
Divorce is a serious issue within Christian circles I cannot disagree with you [I myself am divorced and now am remarried]…however how do you justify that God himself divorced Israel? And will take to himself a ‘bride’ in heaven one day ? Does not the Scripture teach [that] hardness of heart is a reason for divorce too???
I look forward to your comments.
…and Jeremiah makes it clear that the New Covenant is not a renewed covenant, but something completely new. God could not join back to Israel in marriage under a ‘renewed’ Old Covenant, as this would require still being under the Law, there would be no change at all.
I would like to send you my divorce-remarriage booklet that I just completed.
I spent nearly a year on this study and came to a conclusion that changed my
long standing opinion of DR. What is your address?
Bill Hare age 77
New Braunfels Tx 78132
harebs@aol.com